Homicide Recall

Hey.

I just brought in the paper and the title is "Homicide Recall". Ghod, I hope it isn't anything like Product Recall. Speaking of which, have you see that UK Lisa (Williams?) lady that talks to dead people? Does she know that you don't have to look dead to talk to them? That chick looks embalmed. It reminds me of a book I read once that stated you should look similar to the person you are trying to attract. It seems to have worked for her. That's probably why I attracted my last boyfriend so easily. I looked drunk.

Okay, truth be told, I have officially lost another two pounds. Yep! So, the total now is 12 pounds of 'hate weight' gone forever. Yeahhh!!! I do have to admit, though, that I think I lost a couple of those pounds in my boo-bays! At the least the right one. No, that's good, people, 'cuz that was the Mama breast! Now, they're twins again- yeahh!!! What? You didn't need to know that? Well, get some therapy and move on. I am.

I have to tell you that I am on my way to Syracuse now to spend the night with my mother. It's nice because my mother has a connection with someone there that has a connection with someone that writes songs for famous movies and TV shows and she wants to play him my music. Cool. Connections rock! On the down side of her connections, however, my mother has begged me once again with, "I don't ask for much from you..." to meet her male "friend" from the office AGAIN. FINE! FINE! FINE! If it will keep my mother working as my manager, then FINE! But only once. Unless, of course, he is a Warrior.

Oh yeah, I took that Jungian personality test and I am a Lover - of course - you all knew that -Hey, I said a LO-VER, not a S-LUT. There is a difference. Take the test if you don't believe me. Anyhow, a Lover needs a Warrior. It is absolutely friggin' true in my case, folks. I want to add WARRIOR to the list of my future mate's characteristics. Oh, and can you also throw in - "brushes his teeth at night"? Yeah, I know it's scary that I HAVE to add that on, but, experience has shown me this past year and half, that I DO. I am afraid to even ask for a flosser at this point. I am afraid, people. Afraid. I know, you are asking, "What the #@!# happened to her out there?" I wish I could tell you in a linear, logical way how I came to be with men that didn't brush their teeth at night or even own tooth floss, but... there is no logical explanation. I just....it was....if you had...well, I...when I try to...let's just say that some things happen to you out there on the battlefield (a.k.a. in Korea) that can't be explained PERIOD. If you weren't there, I can't help you understand. And if YOU aren't brushing your teeth at night or flossing, then maybe you can help ME understand??

Well, I think that's enough ranting for now. I am going to hit the road.

Have a nice Thanksgiving --- when the time comes.

Always yours,

Ima T. Uthbrusherluver