I am Looking Gooood!

Seriously, I am one of the least vain people I know. Mostly because I have given up...at least I had until the dream of Plastic Surgery invaded my dreams, my soul, and my heart. Since I can't afford it, though, I just try not to look in the mirror. At least I USED TO...but, friends, let me tell you...my body is looking GOOOD these days. I mean it. I went swimming today and wore a two piece for the first time in YEARS because, well, I could. The response from the masses was an overwhelming, "What the h-e-double-hockey-stick have you been doing??" The most inspiring part of my body these days seems to be my extremely flat stomach. If I turn sideways, all you see is my big nose and a mane of curly hair. Everyone wanted to know how I got in shape and how my stomach got so gosh darn flat. I told them quite frankly that it was due to running, in an attempt to escape my current surroundings; swimming, in an attempt to drown myself; and crying, because I have been unable to do either. I also think it has a lot to do with the fact that I quit drinking alcoholic beverages. Yes, women get beer bellies, too.

Where did I go swimming? At one of the many "gorges" natural swimming holes we have located at the bottom of a number of waterfalls here. Yes, this place is stunningly beautiful, folks. I have been all over the world - well, not really - and all over the U.S. - well, not really - and this place is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been during the summer. I ruv it!! I was up in Ithaca. Ah..Ithaca...where men can hold hands and rich hippies can pretend to be poor. I really used to like it there - ruv it there, in fact. These days, things don't sit with me quite as well. There seem to be a lot of people pretty full of themselves - it's jam packed with writers talking about their latest books, musicians performing their latest musical creations, poets spewing off some shit they should probably keep to themselves...see, the thing is these aren't MY books, or MY songs, or MY poems, so why would I care?

There's Cornell, too. I ruv geeks, I really do, but these days, most of them are foreigners so the school is really jam packed with nonnative English speakers. I have no problem with that, but I came home for a reason, people. I want to have intelligent conversations with people that I can understand. Also, the place is overrun with those "hippycrites" I was talking about, too. Real hippies have grown up and become rightfully bitter and have remained poor. I respect those guys. It's the rich hippies that never had to grow up and remain blissfully clueless because they can and THAT pisses me off. Why? For many reasons, one of them being that they are stingy motherpluckers! The real hippies were kick ass guitar players that are now regrettably working in computers and trying to figure out how to keep their shirts tucked in...if these guys had two dimes in their pocket and you needed one, they would give you a dime...or at least a dime bag. On the other hand,the rich pseudo hippies would have a hundred bucks in their pocket and they would be asking you for a dime. Hippycrites, my friends, hippycrites. The rest of the place is full of townies that are made of the same multi-colored trailer trash that you find anywhere else these days. But, boy, it sure is pretty, and they do compost, support organic farming, and have their own barter system in place...that truly rocks. But not enough to get me to move there. So, where to go? Where to go?

Another thing I love about being home is that I can jump in my car and go anywhere, anytime that doesn't require crossing an ocean or a sea. I can because a) I have a car and b) I have no job. So, I can drive on up to Ithaca and go to Wegman's and get all the gluten-free, corn-free, sugar-free, dairy-free foods that I need. I can even get FYFGA - Food You Can Feel Good About - if I want to. That's meat that is free of antibiotics and hormones and comes from animals that are treated fairly and fed organic feed. They also have veggies and fruit that are pesticide free that come from plants that are treated fairly, as well. Hopefully, the same goes for the employees 'cuz I don't want some dude full of antibiotics, hormones, and pesticides handling my goods, if you know what I mean?!

People really are nice to you here. When I am out running, they wave to me from their cars, and they smile and call out hello from their sit down lawn mowers (ah hem). They seem sincere. It's nice. I think they might be happy. I have to admit, it makes me happy that they are so happy, so maybe being happy is contagious, after all.

It got me thinking, though...hmmm...yeah, they SEEM nice, but there are two types of people: those that unintentionally hurt you, and those who are out to get you. The first group is the most dangerous, naturally. Why? Well, duh, because you usually fall for their honest appraisal of themselves as darn nice people. They are so darn well-meaning that they can't imagine anyone ever getting upset with them. These people make you feel safe and so you let your guard down, becoming more vulnerable and naked. Then you find out the hard way that they are not harmless - just the contrary. So, you get stung and you get stung hard. You end up confused and feeling stupid for not seeing it coming. Worse yet, these people have no idea what you are so upset about because they really are clueless - these are not "people smart" people. Danger Will Robinson..Danger!! The other group of people are obviously quite aware that they want to hurt you and anyone else that threatens them. These people are the ones you should hang out with. Why? Because they are obvious and easy to read, so you can protect yourself and plan your moves accordingly. There are no surprises, so you don't get your heart ripped out when you turn a blind corner. If neither group appeals to you, then just hang out with me.

That's all for now.

I am really thankful that we don't have to pedal our cars with our feet.

It's 93 degree,

Ima D. Railed