I hate to write about a whole culture, so I won't. I can't even write about my own. I do have to let you in on a crazy "realization", though. You see, yesterday I went to the store to purchase a slew of magazines to make a poster board collage (don't you worry you're pretty little head over what for, now, okay?). I didn't realize it at the time, but I picked up one mag that was published in England. If I had known that, I would NOT have bought it. It's a good thing that I am not too quick with the brain waves these days, though, as I discovered something very very interesting. I figured out that it wasn't published in North America fairly quickly as the articles had phrases in them such as"taking the piss", "can't be bothered", and "losing stones" instead of "losing pounds". (Ooh, ooh, ooh, and let me tell you, I got on the scale this morning and I have officially lost 10 POUNDS - not stones - since leaving Korea. It's good, people, it very very very good! The weight I had gained over there was not healthy; in fact, let's just call it "HATE WEIGHT". So, my new diet book will be about how love leads to weight loss and how Korea makes you fat. Oh yeah, and the nausea that accompanies heartbreak and realizing that you had been living a lie helps, too).
Oh, I'm sorry, did I get off topic? No, not really. Just hold on. It ties itself together. Probably. So, where was I? Oh yeah, I was going through the magazine and there was an article about how American movie stars are marrying/dating/dogging/ and all out digging British guys. Why? Well, because, they are quick witted, light hearted, well-read, have nice manners, and don't jump in to bed too quickly. THAT'S WHAT I LOVED ABOUT MY EX!! What is shocking about that is that I realized that I was in love with the fact that he was British and I gave him more credit for being unique then he actually was. I didn't realize all British men were so. If I had, I wouldn't have been so impressed with him as much as his cultural identity and upbringing. I wasn't completely in love with my ex- as an individual; I was in love, in large part, with his British-ness. Here, I thought he was different from other guys when, in fact, he was just BRITISH for ghod's sake. So, if I want those qualities, I can just date other British guys. It's an easy thing to remedy, really. I mean, I just need to be in England (and have you seen the women over there? I might look steamin' hot to some of those Brits). But I am not anywhere near the United Kingdom. And, I have no plans to go there. So, maybe it isn't that easy, after all. Hmmmm...maybe my ex- can introduce me to....no, from what I remember of his "friends", I don't think so. In any case, there are also North American men who have manners, aren't sluts, are funny, and read beyond an 8th grade level. I just have to find them. Hellooooooooo!!! Ding Dong! Knock Knock!!
The article also stated that British men tend to be emotionally retarded, live at home longer, and aren't too physically fit. I feel bad because I really thought that was about the character of my ex-, as well. Oops. With that said, however, I am not so sure I want a British boy, afterall. Emotional retardation is something that I am personally trying to overcome and is not something I want my man to aspire to and/or practice. I also want a man who, by the time he is thirty, has actually lived alone and paid his own rent. The physically fit part? I don't care if he has a little beer belly as long as he doesn't think that alcohol and air are of equal importance for the daily survival of mankind. Hmm... well...it's looking pretty grim for the British men, now. And, actually, that last one might knock out a few North American men who were in the running, as well. Sorry, boys, no heavy drinkers! They bore me!
Overall, I think I'll stick with my North American brothers who tend to be more progressive, emotionally available, physically active, and take things a little more seriously.
Note: If there is a British guy that is not a big drinker, is single, has lived alone and paid his own rent, has a job he loves, is capable of and willing to be emotionally intimate, is profeminist and over 35, comes without fetishes or major boyhood hangups, and does not think a woman is supposed to make babies for him or be second to him in any way, shape, or form, then, okay, yes, I will consider it.
In general, if anyone knows of a man that fits the above description who is not too selfish for a serious relationship, happens to be hot, and loves the outdoors, then let me know. I will most likely reject them before meeting them, but, hey, it's worth a shot.
That's all for now...Ima not feeling well, today.
Love,
Ima Q. Ponn
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